Passion

If you have passion for something, you’ll do anything for it. For me, it’s bobsledding and the para-sliding sports. I will go to any length to get it added to the Paralympics and I will keep pushing the envelope on what’s possible with bobsleigh and skeleton for the adaptive athlete.

I have been actively recruiting my competition for the upcoming sliding season, that’s how passionate I am about this sport. I want the best adaptive athletes out there to know that this sport exists and that they can and should get involved.

I know I’m taking my chances. I could easily be outperformed in a qualifying race and be out of the running, replaced by one the guys I recruited. But I want the adaptive sliding sports to thrive so much; I am willing to take that chance. But of course, it’s not ALL for the sport – it’s for me too.

Competitive anxiety is a sports psychology term where the mind or psyche works against the athlete. It manifests in multiple forms and cause reactions both physically and mentally. A positive response is the awareness of the fear of failure, stare it down and make it your bitch. A negative response causes you to shy away from competition altogether. I don’t just respond positively to competitive anxiety, I thrive on it.

In Igls, I only had one run from the top. That made me nervous. I didn’t know if I could have 2 good runs on race day. In St. Moritz, I was afraid that what I did in Igls was a fluke, that I wouldn’t be able to do it again. I faced both of those things head-on, did everything my coaches asked me to do and got the exact result I wanted.

So, recruiting a guy from Canada that could kick my ass sounds kind of crazy, but it really isn’t. I need legit athletes to show up next season,  guys that are going to make me anxious, make me step it up a notch. I want that anxiety in the back of my mind, gnawing at me: What happens if I don’t make the cut? I’ve just recruited the guy that’s replaced me.

That’s why I have the hashtag #somethingtoprove. It’s nothing I have to prove to anybody else, it’s to prove it to myself.

What I did last year was amazing, and it is weighing on me now. Can I do it again? Would I be happy with 2^nd or 3^rd place? No.

In Igls, I came in 2^nd behind my good friend, Corey, and he totally deserved 1^st, but I didn’t get the recognition for getting 2^nd I thought I would get. I wasn’t jealous, it just added fuel to my fire. I want Corey to succeed, but I don’t want 2^nd or 3^rd again. I want 1^st. Really fuckin’ bad.

Eric Thomas said, “If you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you’ll be successful.” That’s how bad I want it. That’s my passion.

Don't Call Me an Inspiration

I hate it when people look at my leg and call me an inspiration.  

There’s a picture floating around the internet of me doing a squat with my prosthetic. It was one of my first Crossfit workouts, for a charity called 31 Heroes benefitting the families of 31 soldiers killed in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan. My squat sucked in all my love-handled, fat-assed glory. But that's when the word ‘inspiration’ started getting used.

Guess what folks - when I got blown up, I didn’t stand up, dust myself off, strap on a prosthetic and hit the gym.

I never struggled with the emotions of losing my limb, even in the 8 months of limb-salvage work I did. But I did have the same problems as other amputees when they first get a prosthetic – it took a while before I knew how to use it!

It was a solid four years before my new limb was just a part of my body, just like any other amputee. I am not someone you want to idolize - I can be an asshole.

I’m politically incorrect, especially about my leg. I crack jokes about it all the time. Hell, I use it to my advantage – I have a different leg depending on what exercise I’m doing. That doesn’t make me an inspiration – that means I’m working the system.

I really want everybody to stop seeing my leg as a reason to think of me as an inspiration. I’d love it if people would just stop noticing it altogether.

Inspiration is like temporary infatuation. It’s the honeymoon phase. Inspiration gets you in the front door of a gym or out on your first walk but it doesn't last. Motivation keeps you coming back. If an amputee sees what I do and is inspired to come into the gym, that makes me really happy. But then he or she has to get motivated to keep going. That's on them.

I have always wanted to help others. When it didn’t work out doing that in the Army, I found a new way to reach out. That’s all I care about. That 31 Workout? I’m not some glory hound, looking for attaboys or pats on the back. I just wanted to support those families.

So… be inspired by the things I’ve been able to accomplish despite my prosthetic if you want to, but then get over it and get motivated to go to the gym and get healthy. Be inspired by the work I do to benefit others, and then get over it and volunteer for a cause or charity that benefits others. 

I’ll just be over here, cheering you on.